And the answer is...

"All of the above."  I'd like to thank those of you who participated in the little poll from the previous post.  I was honestly just messing around with it to see if it would even work.  If anyone has other suggestions about a free and easy to use poll thing-y (yes, I'm very technical here), please let me know!  I have some ideas for its use in the future especially if I ever have time to sit down and let the creative juices flow (no, not that other kind).

Anyway, we had some relatives over on Memorial Day, and before everyone left, we decided to play a dart game called Killers (I know, what a great name for a game!).  I guess I should note that of those of us who were playing, I'm the one who has played darts the least amount of time; therefore, my life expectancy in the game wasn't very high.  We continued to play rounds knocking/striking each other off the board until it was just my fiancé and myself.  We were at the point where he could win with a single dart and I could win with two.  He would throw his three darts and miss, then I would throw my three darts and also miss.  It was honestly starting to get quite boring...that is until he decided to whisper something in my ear as he passed.  "You'll get 25 per strike."  (Yikes! We all know what that means.)  Well, I already had one strike on him and still had to get two more to win the game, but he only needed one.  I have to hand it to him - he certainly knew how to make the game more interesting!

During my next turn, I nailed the second strike. LOL, "So, that's 50," I thought as I passed him with a smile.  He returned the smile but didn't make any headway in winning.  A few rounds later, I did it (75)!  He couldn't beat me (at least not yet ;-) hehe)! I knew he wouldn't do anything that drastic in front of relatives, so I just smiled sweetly at him.  After we walked everyone out to the driveway and bid our farewells, my Love and I went back in to take showers.

By this time, it was actually getting pretty late and we were both definitely tired, so we relaxed and snuggled a little.  Then, I turned to look at him and asked, "Does that mean I get a raincheck?"

He replied, "Nope!" and hopped out of bed looking for the new wooden paddle.

I couldn't help but laugh as I rolled over exposing my backside.  He started first with both cheeks and then he would alternate either side or both randomly.  I knew he couldn't be hitting very hard, but I could definitely feel the burn and the building deeper ache.  It didn't take long before he decided to stop and move on to other activities.  I was certainly more than ready when he entered me roughly from behind and set a hard, fast pace.  Believe me, I could tell the paddle had been back there, but everything just felt so good!

After the fireworks, I went to the bathroom and glanced in the mirror.  I was a lovely shade of dark red splashed with some minor bruising.  I rubbed a little and could definitely feel the deeper ache that reminds you what just happened was real.  My fiancé looked up from the bed and I gave him a goofy, embarrassed smiled since he caught me looking. Then, I went back to bed where we cuddled until we drifted off to sleep.  It was a good end to a long day.

As a follow-up note - the next day, I learned how not to plop down onto my chair at work. ;-P

New Paddle meet Bare Bottom. Bare Bottom meet New Paddle.

Why, it's so...er...nice to personally meet you, New Paddle.  Now that we have been properly introduced, I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my bottom for the achy-ness I've been feeling today!

:-) Yep, on Monday night, I received my first real spanking with the new paddle from Cane-iac and now I have all the lovely after effects to prove it.  So, the big question...

Why was I paddled?
	It's a new implement! Have to break it in sometime!
	I won a game of darts called Killer!
	Do I really need a reason?
	All of the above.
pollcode.com free polls

Please tune in next time to find out!

Me = Excited!

Wow, my last post made it onto Chross's "Spankings of the Week" List!  I'm almost at 2,000 views in less than 2 days which is pretty big for me since I only just started blogging again.  Pretty exciting!  My thanks go out to Chross and to everyone who has taken the time to stop by!  Hope to see you all again!

Want to know what else is exciting?  My fiancé is in the process of making our very first handmade paddle (3/4" thk. x 3 1/2" wide x 20" long)!  He still has to sand it down some more, stain it, and seal it.  I'm pretty sure I'll want to tone down the sassiness when he's holding that in his hand!  I'll post a photo of it when he's finished.

In the mean time and to add to the weekend's excitement, I also received two new implements (one wooden and one leather) from Cane-iac in the mail! Needless to say, I am currently sitting on a slightly sore bottom today, but I'm definitely game for more playtime with our new toys!

Enjoy the rest of your Memorial Day weekend, Everyone!

Oh, the irony!

Last night, my fiancé decided to have a frank discussion about the possibility of the police being called so that if it ever happened we wouldn't be caught completely off guard.  We live on private lane and our closest neighbor is about 100 ft away, so I assumed it would be pretty unlikely that it would ever happen while we were at home.  I mean definitely more likely at a hotel or if we ever had to live in an apartment, but almost certainly not at our brick, single-family home. …Well, ironically, the sheriff department showed up on our street at 10:45pm!

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We had just finished seriously discussing what could happen should any officers of the law ever get called to investigate our personal activities.  After that riveting discussion, I wasn’t really in the mood to play, so we went to take quick showers and get ready for bed.  I slipped into bed just before he came into the bedroom with the intent to drift off to sleep.

Then, the love of my life walked in and had apparently decided that I needed a long and hard spanking with the faux leather side of a paddle. Did I deserve it? Yes, I definitely had to admit it that I did.  I had been moping around all evening because we didn't get a chance to play the previous night and then we had that stressful, mood-killing discussion only half an hour ago.  So, yes, I deserved it and I was willing to accept that I needed it to relieve some tension.

He told me turn over so that I was facedown, bottom up on the bed.  For the first time ever, he started pretty hard and fast.  It wasn't long before I was wiggling, shutting my eyes, and squeezing the stuffing out of the nearest pillow.  It felt like he was a man on a mission and the only objective involved was to see how fast my rear end could feel the burn. At some point, he whispered in my ear, “It’s ok to say, ‘ouch,’ honey.” I've never been very verbal before but the whispered sound, "Ah," and some strained groaning definitely escaped my lips several times before it was over.

The experience was certainly intense, but I wasn't regretting any of it - the pain, the acceptance, the letting go.  It was exactly what I needed.  He was in complete control and I didn’t have a care in the world.  I could focus on being in the moment. Once he decided it was over, we moved on to more feel-good activities and I was more than ready.  The reconnection we had and relief I felt was amazing.

Just as we were finishing up, my cell phone went off.  I got up to answer it.  My mom was on the other end.  Apparently, there were a few officers parked along the street by our house.  She and my dad had just finished speaking with them, and they said that they were responding to a domestic violence call.  Uh-oh!  My parents told the numbers on the four houses down the street and sent them to the dead end where they assumed was the source of the disturbance.  At that point, I hung up the phone and we got dressed in case the officers decided came back to ask us any questions since we still weren’t sure who called them and which house they were actually looking for.

Sure enough, we walked outside to a couple more deputies wandering back to their vehicles across our front yard.  Apparently, they were just taking a look around the wooded area on my land in case the there was someone lurking around.  That’s when we found out that there was a domestic dispute at the end of the road…something about too much to drink and the woman’s boyfriend slapped her.  Now, I am in no way condoning any non-consensual activity like the situation for which the sheriff’s department was called and I do believe they should be called, but I was and am still definitely relieved they were not called out here because some neighbors somehow managed to hear our very consensual activities.

After breathing a sigh of relief, neither of us could believe the irony!  We just had a discussion about the possibility of officers showing up, and then just as we are finishing up the spanking activities, the sheriff’s department appears on our street for a domestic violence call.  What kind of coincidence is that?!

At Peace

Wednesday night after one of those long days, my lover and I wandered into our bedroom deciding that we no longer wanted to spend time doing normal evening activities.  Upon entering, I stripped out of my clothes and went to the bottom of the bed.  I got on my knees on the long pleather-top bench we have there and leaned over the end of the bed.  My lover came up beside me and asked, “Have you been naughty today?”  My answer to his question would usually tell him if I want to be spanked or not, regardless if I was actually naughty or not.  

Instead of saying, “Yes,” and pretending that I had done something to warrant a spanking, I whispered, “No, I just want a spanking.”  He bent down to retrieve my soft leather belt from my jeans…oh, I love the sound the belt makes when he pulls it through the belt loops.  I turned my head towards him and smiled.  He doubled up the belt and landed the first strike.  It wasn’t that hard, but I really didn’t need hard just yet.  He let it fly a few more times - each time varying his technique and where it landed.  We are both new to this and he doesn’t want to hurt me, but does want to give me what I need.  So when he hit a particular spot or put the right amount of power behind it, I would just nod and smile to assure him that he was definitely going in the right direction.

After a couple of minutes with the belt, he decided to switch to a smooth pingpong paddle (yes, this paddle was an impulse buy from a couple of weeks before).  With this, he tried out different combinations of strength and speed.  I had told him that I like harder hits when they are a little spaced out to produce more of an ache, or I like lighter, rapid fire swats which produce more of a stinging burn - I don’t like extremely hard and rapid fire.  He was doing wonderfully.  I found myself presenting my bottom and enjoying every minute.  He would occasionally ask if something was too hard and check-in with me.  Of course he didn't have to but his concern let's me know how much he cares about me. 

At some point, he put the pingpong paddle down and started to use his hand.  The combination of sting and thud that his hand can produce was absolutely perfect.  After a particularly hard spank, he decided to change his question from “is that too hard?” to something along the lines of “can I keep going?”  For me, the questions have different implications and lead me to different mindsets.  “Is that too hard?” implies that the next swat will either be softer or harder based on what I say which is topping from the bottom, therefore I am somewhat in control.  I like giving him control so that I don’t have to think and can just enjoy the submissive feelings. His other question allows me to say, “Yes, keep going,” and he will decide how hard or soft and vary all aspects of play on his own.

For us, spanking almost always comes before lovemaking.  So far, our way of switching from spanking to sex is that he will ask if I’m ready or I will just grab a condom which is usually within reach.  The only problem I have with these scenarios is again - I am mostly in control. I really don’t care for being in control at this point because honestly, I never really know when I want to stop playing and move on…I just usually figure it’s getting late, we have to work tomorrow, maybe he’s getting tired, etc., so my own mental distractions tend to cause me to want to stop.  On this night, I grabbed the condom like normal, but instead of him taking it from me and moving on, he kept spanking!  In fact, what’s this? He was also spanking harder!  Oh my! He’s giving me what I wanted - what I needed!  I was no longer in control, he was.  I could let go and just feel.  I could get lost in the sensations and that’s exactly what was happening and it felt absolutely wonderful.  He stopped when my mind and body relaxed.  He slid the condom from my hand and passionately entered me from behind.  His rough carpenter’s hands grabbed my backside and everything just mixed so well with the pain and pleasure.  I felt him reach his peak and slide out of me.  He told me to get my Hitachi wand and proceeded to bring me to my own climax with the combination of well-placed vibrations and his well-tuned-to-me fingers.

After cleaning up, we climbed back into bed and he held me in his arms. I felt at peace.

What do you do for a living?

I took Friday off from work and I’ve been pretty out of it the last few days because I’m trying to fight off this cold or sinus infection.  Since I was starting to feel better, I was back at work yesterday and today but still couldn’t concentrate for more than a couple of hours at a time.  I would end up getting coffee or checking my phone a lot and then I’d sit back down and try to get something done.  Well, today it was much of the same (honestly, when is it not?), so I decided to entertain myself for a few minutes and think of every word that we use regularly at work that would under normal (not work) circumstances cause fits of laughter, elicit dirty jokes, and allow the ever imaginative mind to wander to more interesting activities (anything can be more interesting than sitting at a damn desk all day).  

So without further ado, here’s my list of work-related buzzwords.  I’ll remind you that I am a mechanical engineer. :-)

1. Lubrication (Usually too much friction is not a good thing.)
2. Friction (Use lubrication.)
3. Penetration (Oh yeah? Where are you going to put that?)
4. Balls 
5. Nuts and Bolts
6. Studs (No, you aren’t a muffin, so quit looking at me like that.)
7. Screw (Screw who?)
8. Erection (Yep, that was pretty hard to get up.)
9. Nipple (Imagine a male engineer explaining what a nipple is to a female engineer.  LMAO)
10. Rod (Spare the rod? Nah…)
11. Coupling
12. Clamp
13. Pressure (Just put a little more pressure right here.)
14. Male/Female Fittings (Yes, the male end fits into the female end.)
15. Vibration (Hmmmm….)
16. Heat Transfer (Boy, it’s getting hot in here!)
17. Impact Stress (For me, impact relieves stress.)
18. Shaft
19. Plug (Yes, I’d lube that up too before putting it in there.)
20. Holes (We have holes for screws, bolts, shafts, and rods.  Just insert yours here.)
21. Ruler (You can use it to measure but I can think of other uses for it.)
22. Bottom (Oh, where’d that ruler go?)
23. Bending Moment (Be careful where you choose to have that moment!  Especially since he just found that ruler!)
24. Pump Suction Head (Right…need I explain?)
25. Drive Shaft 
26. Strap it down (Sure)
27. Tie it down (Sounds like fun!)
28. Spreader Bar (What? Did you say just say spreader bar? Damn, I’ve been wanting to try one, but I’m definitely not that limber!)

Let’s just say it’s a good thing we can’t read each other’s minds at work.  Some days I don’t know how we ever getting any thing done at all!  Feel free to add what comes to your mind when reading my list, or post your own workday buzzword list!  It certainly made my workday more entertaining.

Communication, Communication, Communication

So I thought I would open with a couple of what men think versus what women think dialogues that I came across recently on the Internet.

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Here's the first one found @ http://web.mit.edu/adorai/www/hesaidshesaid.html

He said, she said: A dialogue (in stereotype)
by Dave Barry, slightly modified by the Car Talk guys

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A guy named Roger is driving his girlfriend, Gloria, home from dinner one night, when Gloria says, "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" There is silence in the car. To Gloria, it seems like a very loud silence. 

Gloria (thinking): Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. 

Roger (thinking): Gosh. Six months. 

Gloria (thinking): But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? 

Roger (thinking): So that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa, I am way overdue for an oil change here. 

Gloria (thinking): He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. 

Roger (thinking): And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600! 

Gloria (thinking): He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. 

Roger (thinking): They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs. 

Gloria (thinking): Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I truly do care about, a person who is in pain because of my self-centered schoolgirl romantic fantasy. 

Roger (thinking): Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their... 

Gloria (aloud): Roger? 

Roger (startled): What? 

Gloria (her eyes filling with tears): Please don't torture yourself like this. Maybe I should never have...Oh God, I feel so... 

Roger: What? 

Gloria (sobbing): I'm such a fool. I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse. 

Roger: There's no horse? 

Gloria: You think I'm a fool, don't you? 

Roger (relieved finally to know the right answer): No. 

Gloria: It's just that...It's that I...I need some time. 

Roger (after a 15-second pause during which he is thinking as fast as he can, trying to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.): Yes. 

Gloria (deeply moved, touching his hand): Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way? 

Roger: What way? 

Gloria: That way about time. 

Roger: Oh. Yes. 

Gloria (gazing deeply into Roger's eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.): Thank you, Roger. 

Roger: Thank you. 

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed and cries until dawn. Roger goes back to his place, opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he could ever understand what. He figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. 

The next day Gloria calls all her best friends and talks about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail they analyze everything she said and everything he said, considering every possible ramification. They continue to discuss this subject off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions. 

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Gloria's, pauses just before serving, frowns, and says, "Norm, did Gloria ever own a horse?"

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The second one I found @ http://weknowmemes.com/2011/10/his-her-diary-on-the-same-day/

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While these stereotypical men's versus women's reactions/responses/assumptions seem hilarious to those from afar, they do convey two very important messages.

1) Communication is a major part of any relationship.
2) Try not to assume anything.  If in doubt, ask. 

Because we are all individuals and we all think differently, it is very important to keep open lines of communication.  Whether you are discussing this month’s bills or debating on which sexual fantasy you would like to try next, being willing and able to openly discuss and adjust is all part of keeping a healthy relationship going.

Prior to my current relationship, true communication had always been difficult for me particularly when it involved discussing my wants and desires or even talking about something that bothered me.  It's not that I can't communicate - I can and have always been able to converse well into the night about any other subject, give a speech in front of a ton of people, and even talk about someone else’s fantasies, but at any point when the conversation turned to my personal desires, I would tend to get embarrassed and clam up.  It’s not that I had nothing to say or didn’t have my own fantasies, on the contrary, my mind would be racing through several scenarios that would turn me on, but none of those thoughts ever actually made it out of my mouth.  Instead, I would just shrug my shoulders and say nothing.

Nowadays, I have become much more open and honest in my relationship and a lot of that is because of my fiancé.  The fact that he didn’t go running for the hills when I first mentioned spanking was certainly a big help. :-) All the communication thereafter has been helping us build a stronger and more trusting relationship.  It also opens the door to explore new things.  That’s not to say we aren’t still working on communicating, after all it is an on-going thing, but it is getting easier.   

It’s probably worth noting (especially for others who have trouble communicating) that before I started blogging, I actually used a notebook to write down journal-like entries addressed directly to my fiancé.  The purpose of the notebook was to let him know how I felt about what we were trying.  For me, it was easier to write it down later and hand him the notebook rather than have a spur of the moment conversation.  Then, he could ask questions and it would be a way for us to open an easy dialogue.

Since trying this method of communication, I’ve noticed an improvement with communicating verbally so that now I feel more confident about expressing my wants/desires/fantasies.  LOL, I’ll probably always feel a little embarrassed but it is certainly a marked improvement.  :-)  After all, if I don't tell him what I want, how on earth is he supposed to know?  Now the only problem is figuring out what it is that I actually want!