In the last week, life has changed drastically for us. My fiancé and I stepped up and were given provisional custody of his two nephews, ages 7 and 3. Last month, his brother started working a job that takes him away from home a majority of the time and his brother's new wife wasn't ready for the responisbility of raising two extremely rambunctious boys, so we picked them up last Tuesday and enrolled the older one in our local public school. We have been trying to provide stability and get them into a normal routine. It has definitely been exhausting as they can totally wear me out. It is very difficult to split your time between two kids who both need your attention, especially when their age difference makes it near impossible to try to spend time all together. *sigh*
Want to know the irony of the situation? We had just decided we probably weren't going to have any children of our own and just enjoy life together. Now, all of our time at home is consumed with raising the boys. Last week was rough and stressful, but the weekend did show me that we can handle them together.
Even with everything going all topsy-turvy on us, we did manage to have some very limited private time after the boys went to sleep. Lucky for me, we acquired those canes from Cane-iac last month. With the need to be quiet and all, they really are the only implements we can try to use right now.
Anyway, there are a TON of things I miss terribly and even some things I regret not doing yet now that we have kids, but I know that we are doing the right thing in taking them in. I do hope that the parents will be able to pull themselves together and figure things out in time for next school year, but in the mean time, we will do our best and take one day at a time.
Positive thoughts, comments, smoke signals, etc. are all welcome and greatly appreciated!
Jay, that is huge. I don't even know what to say, except you and your guy are very giving. I wish you all the strength and stability you need, and opportunities for "Jay time" when you need them. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteJay: YOU ARE AWESOME! Children are precious, wonderful and a hair pulling nightmare all within the span of seconds. I stayed home with our two for 5 years. They were just a year apart so my job was easier than yours, particularly since your stepped in when their only three speeds are full speed backwards, lighting beam forwards, and dead to the world. And two kids means the best you guys can do is one on one. You will treasure these years ... if you survive, which you will.
ReplyDeleteVery seriously, beware of and please read up on separation anxiety and trauma. At some level they both will experience it for sure. They will likely blame themselves.
It is okay to sometimes hate the responsibility and the demands and the changes in your life. Accept that you are not perfect and you will be well launched.
With a warm hug (and not a small bit of envy - those are wonderful ages), Jon
Erica - Thank you. I'm hoping for some private time tonight after the boys go to sleep. We plan to take a trip this weekend, so I'm hoping to relieve some stress beforehand...LOL, not that it would keep me from worrying about everything that could possibly go wrong anyway!
ReplyDeleteJon - Thank you for your support. We are definitely watching out for signs of separation anxiety. They both seem to be adjusting pretty well all things considered. I'm more prepared for handling the younger one as I helped raise my nephew from one month to five years. We do sit down and talk more with the older one so that he has a chance to ask questions and express himself verbally rather than physically. Although he seems to understand what is going on, he is also still a child and needs our support and help to get through this time emotionally. We know he is hurting, probably angry, might be trying to blame himself, and more than likely has a fear of nobody wanting him (feeling abandoned). So right now, we are doing our best to tell and show them that we do want them (and so do their parents) and we all do love them.