At Peace

Wednesday night after one of those long days, my lover and I wandered into our bedroom deciding that we no longer wanted to spend time doing normal evening activities.  Upon entering, I stripped out of my clothes and went to the bottom of the bed.  I got on my knees on the long pleather-top bench we have there and leaned over the end of the bed.  My lover came up beside me and asked, “Have you been naughty today?”  My answer to his question would usually tell him if I want to be spanked or not, regardless if I was actually naughty or not.  

Instead of saying, “Yes,” and pretending that I had done something to warrant a spanking, I whispered, “No, I just want a spanking.”  He bent down to retrieve my soft leather belt from my jeans…oh, I love the sound the belt makes when he pulls it through the belt loops.  I turned my head towards him and smiled.  He doubled up the belt and landed the first strike.  It wasn’t that hard, but I really didn’t need hard just yet.  He let it fly a few more times - each time varying his technique and where it landed.  We are both new to this and he doesn’t want to hurt me, but does want to give me what I need.  So when he hit a particular spot or put the right amount of power behind it, I would just nod and smile to assure him that he was definitely going in the right direction.

After a couple of minutes with the belt, he decided to switch to a smooth pingpong paddle (yes, this paddle was an impulse buy from a couple of weeks before).  With this, he tried out different combinations of strength and speed.  I had told him that I like harder hits when they are a little spaced out to produce more of an ache, or I like lighter, rapid fire swats which produce more of a stinging burn - I don’t like extremely hard and rapid fire.  He was doing wonderfully.  I found myself presenting my bottom and enjoying every minute.  He would occasionally ask if something was too hard and check-in with me.  Of course he didn't have to but his concern let's me know how much he cares about me. 

At some point, he put the pingpong paddle down and started to use his hand.  The combination of sting and thud that his hand can produce was absolutely perfect.  After a particularly hard spank, he decided to change his question from “is that too hard?” to something along the lines of “can I keep going?”  For me, the questions have different implications and lead me to different mindsets.  “Is that too hard?” implies that the next swat will either be softer or harder based on what I say which is topping from the bottom, therefore I am somewhat in control.  I like giving him control so that I don’t have to think and can just enjoy the submissive feelings. His other question allows me to say, “Yes, keep going,” and he will decide how hard or soft and vary all aspects of play on his own.

For us, spanking almost always comes before lovemaking.  So far, our way of switching from spanking to sex is that he will ask if I’m ready or I will just grab a condom which is usually within reach.  The only problem I have with these scenarios is again - I am mostly in control. I really don’t care for being in control at this point because honestly, I never really know when I want to stop playing and move on…I just usually figure it’s getting late, we have to work tomorrow, maybe he’s getting tired, etc., so my own mental distractions tend to cause me to want to stop.  On this night, I grabbed the condom like normal, but instead of him taking it from me and moving on, he kept spanking!  In fact, what’s this? He was also spanking harder!  Oh my! He’s giving me what I wanted - what I needed!  I was no longer in control, he was.  I could let go and just feel.  I could get lost in the sensations and that’s exactly what was happening and it felt absolutely wonderful.  He stopped when my mind and body relaxed.  He slid the condom from my hand and passionately entered me from behind.  His rough carpenter’s hands grabbed my backside and everything just mixed so well with the pain and pleasure.  I felt him reach his peak and slide out of me.  He told me to get my Hitachi wand and proceeded to bring me to my own climax with the combination of well-placed vibrations and his well-tuned-to-me fingers.

After cleaning up, we climbed back into bed and he held me in his arms. I felt at peace.