"Tell me what you're thinking..."

I pulled the following excerpt from a story called "First Punishment" by verogenous which was posted on Literotica.com.  In this excerpt, we never actually get to the "first punishment" that is mentioned in the title, but this introduction really spoke volumes to me when I first came across it, so I just thought I'd share it...

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Since I was about 18 or so I have known I am sexually turned on by spanking and dominance. I accidentally ran across a "spanking magazine" and read a story about a young woman being spanked and made love to by her "Dom". It turned me on so much I read that story over and over again until I almost had it memorized. By the time I met my husband and married him I had done as much reading as I could at that time (1982) on the subject and found many other forms of spanking and dominance had also turned me on. Somehow I just knew this little kink of mine was not a good thing and most people would never understand, so I had decided very early on, I would just have to keep this little dirty secret to myself. And I did until… 

One night about 6 months after we were married we were lying in bed talking after spending a long time making love and he pulled me close to him, looked me in the eye "Tell me what you're thinking" 

This was a normal routine for us, since we were young and still learning I guess he had insecurities too that needed to be addressed, thus asking me on a regular basis my thoughts. As usual with me I was afraid to actually admit that I had been thinking sex would have been a whole lot better had he of taken me over his lap and spanked me slowly and sensually until my bottom was red all over and hot to the touch. Instead I answered that question as I always had 

"Nothing, just enjoying the afterglow."  

At this point he would smile and hug me close to him and we would usually go to sleep, me lying on his chest and his body wrapped around mine.  

This night however; was not going to be the same for either of us again. He sighs heavily 
"Are you sure that's what's on your mind "little one"? 

Those words made my stomach flutter and my sex starting twitching and began to get really hot. I looked at him, studying his expression, his deep blue eyes staring a hole through me, yet he was slightly grinning at me. I looked at him for a long time before finally asking,
"What would make you ask me that again?"  

He sighed again and pulled me even closer to him and whispered in my ear.
"I think I know a naughty little girl who may need her ass spanked for not being honest with me." 

I was so stunned at his words, I actually jumped off the bed and stood there, literally shaking and starring at him, I couldn't talk, my mouth was dry and my throat was totally constricted. His eyes began to sparkle and he broke out into a huge smile as he reached under the bed and pulled out my "collection" of books, magazines and pictures I had cut out of magazines of different spanking implements. I was so totally shocked, I felt my knees knocking and my legs become too weak to hold me up, I fell to the floor onto my knees, leaning back on my heels, I can feel the embarrassment flood throughout my body as my whole body to the top of my head blushed profusely. The whole time asking myself how in the hell he found the box, it had been hidden back in our guest room closet where I keep the extra blankets and junk I don't want anyone to see. My hubby had been quite busy it seems and had actually taken the time to read my material and do a little research of his own. He had decided when the time was right he would let me know, as always with this man, he took his time and made sure whatever it is he's involving himself in he needs to be sure he understands and knows what he's doing. He reached over and wiped the stray lock of hair that had fallen over my eye, wrapped it around my ear and moved to the floor where I was kneeling and sat beside me, holding me tightly to his chest and then begins to speak. He turned my face so that I was looking into his eyes.  

"Baby doll" (That's my nickname he has always used for me) "Why didn't you tell me you were into spanking and D/s?"  

I was still unable to speak and leaned my head on his shoulder. He pulls me back and makes me look directly into his eyes; I see nothing but love and a whole lot of lust. Anyway, to make a long story short, I finally did open up and told him how turned on I get from spanking and dominance. He in turn opened up to me, letting me know he had never given it any thought until he stumbled across my "secret box". He expressed a sincere desire to indulge both of us in this little kink of mine and had come up with all sorts of ideas he would like to try as well. We began our little journey that night as he pulled us both up off the floor together and sat down on the bed, slowly turned me over his lap and ever so lovingly spanked me until I was begging him to make love to me again. Needless to say, that night we slept maybe two hours and nine months later our first beautiful little boy came into this world.

Verogenous. "First Punishment." Literotica.com. Literotica, 15 Nov. 2005. Web. 06 May 2014. <http://www.literotica.com/s/first-punishment-1>.
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Before I started being more open with my fiancé, we would have moments in bed just after making love where the dialogue for the beginning of this story could have been ours verbatim.  Why didn't I ever say anything?  Because I was embarrassed!  Because I hadn't accepted that part of me.  Because I wasn't really sure of what I wanted, though spanking was certainly the predominating item on a very short list.  How could I say "I want you to spank me...no, not those silly love pats.  I mean really spank me."  Or, maybe I was wrong? Maybe I just thought I wanted it.  Maybe it should just stay a fantasy.

Eventually, we did talk about it after I casually brought it up a few times.  My fiancé has been a big help in getting me to be more open.  He even realizes that spanking is a part of me - it is more than just a fantasy.  He accepts me for who I am and now our communication is improving and our lovemaking has increased greatly.  Even though this did take him by surprise and he was a little hesitant, we are helping each other work through our reservations and becoming stronger as a couple.