Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Not many answers this week, but I do have questions...

Two weeks ago, I felt light-hearted and hopeful.

Last week, I felt the weight of the world.

I can't explain it, but it was definitely hard to get and stay out of bed. I want to say I feel a little lost...like I've wandered into a fog and have lost my sense of direction, not in a spiritual sense...more in an emotional sense.

This week, I don't have any answers yet, but I am cautiously optimistic. Also, I do have some questions for you, dear readers, and I hope you will take a moment to answer them either in a comment here or on your own blog. If you choose to write your own post, please leave a comment and let me know where to look.

  1. What made you happy when you were younger?
  2. What makes you happy now?
  3. What do you think will make you happy in the future?
  4. Do any of these answers change if you get married? If you have children?
You do not have to, but please respond with your age or the age range in which you fall...(18-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60, 60+). I would like to see how our answers vary with respect to where we are in age. I understand that maturity and experience can vary with the individual, but I wanted to see if there were any noticeable patterns.

I apologize in advance if you see this post multiple times, but I might bump it up a few times so I don't miss anyone who might like to participate.

Thank you!

Oh, I forgot to add that it's okay if you aren't sure what your answers are to these questions - I want to know that too.

20 comments:

  1. happy to try to answer these questions...not sure if I know the answers but will give it a whirl :-) I will try to put up a post on my blog the end of the week or beginning of next week...thanks for making me ponder... :-)

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    1. Thank you! I look forward to reading your answers. :-)

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  2. Hi Jay, my first time here and I thought I would answer the questions, and butt in!
    When I was young the big thing that made me happy was dancing, my life revolved around it and it became my job too.
    Now I would say my husband and kids make me happy. Ttwd has changed our lives and my world revolves around my husband(kids are grown, but they too are my reasons for everything).I do dance still but it has taken a back seat.
    In the future I think the only thing that would make me happier is if my husband could retire, we cherish our time together so much, this could only be better
    My lifel totally changed when I married thirty three years ago almost. I went from an unhappy home life to the one I always wanted to build for my family. Best thing I ever did.
    I am 55,
    love Jan.xx

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    1. Hi Jan! Welcome and thank you for commenting. I was starting to feel a little weird for asking people to come comment so I am very glad you stopped by! I think I'll have more (hopefully thought-provoking) questions soon and I hope you'll come back! :-)

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  3. I think I will answer here, since I don't know when I'll be blogging this week. So sorry to hear you've been down! These are deep questions and I will do my best to do them justice.

    Oh, and I'm 51-60, but you already knew that. :-)

    1. When I was younger, the things that made me happiest were a dichotomy -- attention and solitude. I craved both. As a child, I actually loved being sick. It meant I could stay home from school (solitude), but that I got fussed over (attention). Books made me happy, and any activity where I could lose myself for a while.

    2. Now, a sense of belonging makes me happy. Feeling like I matter. My love, my friends, my top. The joys and highs of fully embracing my kink. Simple things -- a favorite TV show, an unexpected compliment, a good workout.

    3. Having John healthy and vital would make me happy. That, plus my own health, financial security, and maintaining my independence.

    4. I never wanted children, so I ensured that would not happen at a very young age. I have no desire to get married either, even though I've been with John for over 18 years. Even if we were to marry for financial convenience when we get older, I would want to keep my own place, my own space. I think that I will always need that. So I guess my answers would be the same.

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to reply, Erica! Wishing you and John all the best today and through his recovery!

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  4. Hi Jay,
    I am in the 60+ group (how did that happen)
    1. When I was younger I lived the dream...for many years I worked in the live music industry...sex, drugs and rock & roll. It seems now that I lived a charmed life and everything made me happy. Then in the "middle years" everything suddenly became serious, wife, child, house, work etc. and it seemed that there was never enough time to be really happy.

    2. Now, having recently retired, I can honestly say that almost everything makes me happy. If I was to give it a label I would call this the "calm years". Now we have time to appreciate the time that has passed and the stuff that we have accumulated that makes our life comfortable. It is the little things in life that makes us able to appreciate how lucky...and happy...we are; a flower in the garden we spent so much time planning and planting, a long walk on the beach, the grandson staying with all the frenetic energy that he brings.

    3. I can honestly say that I don't look to the future. I know that we will slow down and "decay" but I hope that we will be filled with a sense of contentment. We are no longer grasping for "stuff" so I hope the joy of being alive will follow us for a while yet.

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    1. Don - thank you for answering! I actually have a question the stems from your response to the first. What happened when you felt that there wasn't enough time to really be happy? Did your family feel the same at the time?

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  5. Hello Jay,

    What made you happy when you were younger?
    Oh lots of thinks. Playing with friends in our street. Books, loved to read but it was my sport that I was at my happiest.

    What makes you happy now?
    Now, P and my son. Happy that my son is settled and secure in his work. Friends. Silly simple things, like going for walks with P, watching a movie together with a glass of wine and having long girlie lunches.

    What do you think will make you happy in the future?
    Simple, to have our health and if P would slow down and retire that would be wonderful. We could go travelling and move to Spain:)

    60+

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Thank you for answering, Ronnie! Would P be willing to give answers as well?

      I think it would be wonderful to travel. :-)

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  6. Hi Jay,
    I would like to stress that we were NOT unhappy...just that both of us worked insane hours (never less than 60 hpw and on call 24/7) and our daughter competed at a national level in her sport and we had a new house to beat into shape. So busy we had to make a calendar entry for spanking and sex (don't laugh)

    Lots and lots of happy moments but in hindsight we never had enough time to appreciate the joy in our lives.

    Consequence...daughter got married and produced a grandson, moved to the outer burbs next to the beach, got 2 dogs and 2 cats, both of us told work to f#*k off and die, started to get ourselves healthy again (work in progress), restarted practicing our religion (Buddhism), got rid of the spanking calendar and started doing it when the mood took us.

    Result....broke, happy, content, joyful and occasionally well spanked.

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    1. It sounds like life is a lot more relaxed now and you can all take time to enjoy it! :-)

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  7. Hi Jay,

    Sure, I'll play!

    1. What made you happy when you were younger?

    As a little kid, I loved running, jumping, singing, playing games, and anything active or noisy.

    As a teenager, happiness was harder to find. I knew I wanted something, but wasn't quite such what that was. Like Erica, I found escape in books.

    2. What makes you happy now?

    There are a great many sources of happiness today - a spring flower, a baby's smile, a live performance, a note from a blogging friend asking me to come answer questions, seeing again a mountain that has been obscured by clouds, a favorite song (today that's ELO), cooking something surprisingly delicious, pressing my face into Randy's chest, finishing a big project, having a free weekend...

    3. What do you think will make you happy in the future?

    I imagine with the passage of time we will stay closer to home. That means more baking, gardening, and snuggling. That wouldn't be a bad future at all.

    4. Do any of these answers change if you get married? If you have children?

    I' can't imagine getting married again and my babymaker is closed for the duration. We have one daughter and one granddaughter, and that's just perfect.

    I'm in the 51-60 group.

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    1. Hi, Bonnie! Thank you and I love your answers!

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  8. Hi Jay,

    I'll play too! I'm in the 60+ group.


    1. What made you happy when you were younger?

    When I was very young I spent hours playing with toy animals, making up stories about them and arranging them in family groups. I was a solitary child and had a very vivid imagination. In my teen years I loved folk music and was never happier than when I was singing or playing my guitar.

    2. What makes you happy now?

    I'm really happy that I have retired from my 9 to 5 office job, and can do freelance work as it suits me. I'm still a loner, and prefer not to have to deal with people on a day to day basis. I love gardening in the spring and summer, and baking and cooking in the fall and winter. I also love to read, play online games (Gummy Drop and Restaurant Royale are my current passion), and keep up with my blogging. I also enjoy walks with Ron, and we do a lot of gardening together.

    3. What do you think will make you happy in the future?

    Being healthy enough to enjoy our current lifestyle for as long as possible.

    4. Do any of these answers change if you get married? If you have children?

    Probably not. We have been together for 30+ years, but I doubt that marriage will ever be in the cards. I am childless by choice, and there is no probability of having any at this stage in my life.

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    1. Thanks, Hermione! I'm glad you came by! :-)

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  9. Good questions Jay.

    Wow, I think there may be enough of us to form a 'young person's not-so-senior citizen's special interest (kink) group.' I'm in what the US Social Security Administration calls the 'closely approaching retirement age' category.

    a. What made me happy when younger? Books, New Mexico and most anywhere in the western US - west of Nebraska, the Dakotas and Tejas. (spelled correctly!). Staying home for 5 years with my two young kids. My wife. Travel (before marriage and kids). All the social changes we accomplished in the 60's and 70's: vast changes in women's rights, civil rights and ending that damn war in SE Asia.

    b. What makes me happy now? Books, having gratitude for, and seeing beauty in, everyday things almost every day and multiple times a day. I'm much more appreciative of the little things in life around me. My wife and, on alternate Tuesdays, my 21 & 22 year old kids. Being able to smooze with, or complement, women without the 'is he hitting on me' nonsense.

    c. What will make me happy in the future? Books, wife, children, the little things in the world around me, becoming a bit more extroverted. I'm fishing around for what to do when I mostly retire. My mental image has me working with very young children - anything to do with children + my future - will be happy ... except if my children have their children too soon.

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  10. Thanks for stopping by and taking time to answer my questions!

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  11. Hey there,

    I'm a little late to the game! Here are my answers:

    Age range: 18-30

    What made you happy when you were younger?

    Pretty much everything. My mom says I was a very happy baby and child. I loved playing with my stuffed animals, sports like soccer, and arts and craftsy things. Also, girl scouts rocked.

    What makes you happy now?

    My dog. My dog is like my child. Even YS knows his place on the totem pole. ;) YS and my friends also bring great joy into my life. Spanking helps too!

    What do you think will make you happy in the future? If I can find my own primary partner and also do better in my career.

    Do any of these answers change if you get married? If you have children? Nope. I think your perspective on life might change if married or with children but these are goals that I have for myself irrespective of outside forces. I don't reply on marriage or children to be my only source of happiness but to rather add to my overall happiness.

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    1. Beth - Thank you for sharing your answers! I really appreciate you visiting my blog! :-)

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